I’m Scared to Eat: How Ulcerative Colitis Can Hijack Your Relationship With Food

If you’ve ever skipped a meal out of fear or Googled “what’s safe to eat with UC” at 2 am, you’re not alone.

Ulcerative Colitis (UC) can turn eating into a battleground. One day, a meal feels soothing. The next, it leaves you in pain or spiralling into a flare. And after enough unpredictable reactions, it’s easy to start fearing food altogether.

But it’s not just the symptoms, it’s the loss of joy, ease, and connection around food. The way you second-guess every bite. The way shared meals start to feel like minefields.

In this blog, I want to unpack that fear and offer a gentler path forward. We’ll explore how to rebuild safety, slowly reconnect with food, and support the body, mind, and microbiome, what I call the Gut Health Triangle. If food has started to feel like the enemy, I hope this helps you find a way back to the table.

When Food Feels Dangerous

Why This Fear Is Valid

If you’re afraid to eat, there’s a reason. With UC, food can genuinely feel like a risk. One day, something sits fine. The next day, it triggers pain, urgency, or a full-blown flare. That kind of unpredictability makes your brain pay attention, and it makes sense that you’d start to associate food with danger.

During a flare, your gut lining is inflamed and hypersensitive. Even foods that once felt “safe” can suddenly be too much. This isn’t you being difficult or picky; it’s your body doing its best to protect itself.

And yet, when food stops feeling predictable, it stops feeling comforting. That’s when fear creeps in.

(If this is something you’re working through, you might find my blog on Are Flare-Ups Random or Predictable? helpful.)

How the Brain Learns to Fear Eating

Our brains are wired to avoid pain, and when food becomes associated with flares or discomfort, it’s natural for that fear to stick.

You might notice your stomach tightening before you even eat, or your heart racing when you look at a certain food. That’s not all in your head. It’s your nervous system reacting to a pattern it thinks it recognises.

The tricky part? Stress around eating can also affect digestion, creating a feedback loop that’s hard to break.

The good news: just as your body learned to be afraid, it can learn to feel safe again, with time, patience, and the right support.

The Emotional Toll of Food Fear

Grieving What Food Used to Mean

Before UC, food probably held so many roles in your life. It might’ve been comfort, connection, culture, or spontaneity. A way to celebrate, wind down, or simply enjoy the moment.

And then, quietly or suddenly, it changed. The fridge became something you opened with hesitation. Grocery shopping turned into a mental maze. Birthdays, holidays, and meals that once meant laughter or love started to carry an edge of anxiety.

This shift is more than an inconvenience. It’s a loss. And like any loss, it deserves to be named.

Because what we’re talking about here isn’t just the practical side of food, it’s the emotional and social meaning it holds. Maybe you’ve found yourself cancelling plans, dreading shared meals, or feeling guilty when you can’t eat what others are having. Maybe you’ve felt isolated or “othered” by your dietary needs. Maybe you’ve mourned the carefree way you used to eat without a second thought.

That grief is real. And part of healing your relationship with food is giving yourself permission to feel it. To acknowledge that UC hasn’t just affected your gut, it’s changed your world in ways most people don’t see.

Disordered Eating vs. Protective Eating

When you’re living with a chronic condition, it’s easy for self-protection to be misunderstood. Maybe you’ve narrowed your diet significantly, not because you want to, but because it feels like the only way to stay safe. Maybe you eat less than you used to. Or skip meals. Or obsessively track every ingredient.

From the outside, this can start to look like disordered eating. And in some cases, it is, not because you’re chasing a certain body type, but because food has become so charged with fear and control that it begins to take over your life.

It’s a complicated line. There’s nothing wrong with avoiding foods that genuinely trigger symptoms. But when your world starts to shrink around food, when every bite feels high-stakes, or your social life suffers, or you feel anxious or ashamed after eating, it might be time to check in with someone who understands the nuance of chronic illness and eating behaviours.

You don’t need to wait for a formal diagnosis to ask for help. And you don’t need to explain or justify your choices to deserve support.

If you’re unsure where you stand, this Healthline article on disordered eating offers a starting point.

What Actually Is Safe to Eat with UC?

If you’ve ever Googled “UC safe foods,” you’ve probably seen lists that contradict each other. One says oats are gentle. Another says oats are a trigger. Some people swear by bananas; others can’t tolerate them. It’s confusing. Exhausting, even.

So here’s the truth: there’s no one-size-fits-all diet for Ulcerative Colitis. There’s no universal “safe food list.” And there’s definitely no magic meal plan that works for everyone.

That said, there are patterns. There are phases of healing. And there are ways to figure out what supports you, without becoming a full-time food detective.

Different Seasons, Different Needs

What your gut can handle in a flare is very different to what it might manage in remission. During a flare, your digestive system is inflamed and hypersensitive. It makes sense that raw vegetables, high-fibre grains, or even some fruits might feel like too much.

In those moments, many people find relief with:

• Soft, well-cooked foods

• Low-residue meals (i.e. low-fibre, low-bulk)

• Broths, soups, and blended foods

• Simple carbs like white rice or mashed potatoes

But remission is a different season. In remission, your gut lining is calmer. Your body might be able to tolerate (and even benefit from) more fibre, fermented foods, and a wider range of nutrients.

That’s where slow, mindful food experimentation comes in, not to challenge your body, but to learn how far it’s come.

Tools, Not Rules

Over the years, several therapeutic diets have gained popularity in the IBD community:

• The Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD)

• Low-FODMAP Diet

• Elemental Diet

• Low-Residue Diet

• Anti-Inflammatory Diets

These can be powerful tools, especially when used under the guidance of a dietitian or practitioner. But they’re not rules. They’re not punishments. And they’re not forever.

What matters most is not what’s written on a list, but what your body tells you. Which foods leave you feeling nourished? Which ones consistently cause discomfort? Which ones are worth it, and which ones aren’t?

If you’re curious about how one of these diets might support gut healing, you might find my blog on How the Specific Carbohydrate Diet Supports Gut Healing in Crohn’s and UC helpful.

Rebuilding Trust with Food

If food has felt like a battleground, this part isn’t about rushing back into meals with reckless optimism. It’s about taking slow, grounded steps toward something gentler. Something safer. Something more sustainable.

You don’t need to find the perfect diet; rebuilding trust with food is more about creating a relationship that feels less fearful, more informed, and more compassionate. And one of the ways we can do that is by looking at what I call the Gut Health Triangle: supporting your body, your mind, and your microbiome, all at the same time.

Step One: Soften the Rules

When fear takes over, food can start to feel black-and-white. Good or bad. Safe or unsafe. But in reality, healing often happens in the grey areas.

Instead of asking, “What foods are allowed?” try asking:

• “What feels gentle right now?”

• “What textures are easier to digest?”

• “What’s nourishing without being overwhelming?”

Let yourself explore how you eat, not just what you eat. Maybe that means cooking your veggies more softly. Blending your soups. Or eating smaller portions more frequently. These aren’t restrictions, they’re adaptations that honour where your gut is today.

Reframe “elimination” as “exploration.” Reintroductions can feel like experiments, not tests you pass or fail. You’re not being graded, you’re learning.

Step Two: Regulate Before You Digest

Here’s where the mind part of the triangle comes in. Your nervous system and digestive system are intimately linked, so much so that stress can literally change how well you digest.

If you’re eating in a state of fear, urgency, or anxiety, even the most “gut-friendly” foods can feel hard to tolerate. That’s why regulating your body before a meal is often just as important as what’s on the plate.

Try this:

• Take five slow breaths before your first bite.

• Sit down with your feet flat on the ground.

• Light a candle, play calming music, or say a grounding phrase.

These rituals help activate your parasympathetic nervous system (your rest-and-digest mode), making digestion smoother and less reactive.

Step Three: Support Your Microbiome Gently

Your microbiome, the trillions of bacteria, fungi, and other microbes in your gut, plays a massive role in how you digest food, respond to inflammation, and even how you feel emotionally.

But when your gut is inflamed, introducing big changes (like high-dose probiotics or loads of fibre) can backfire.

So start small:

• A spoonful of broth

• A sprinkle of flaxseed (if tolerated)

• A soft-cooked veggie

• A gentle probiotic, ideally one suited to IBD (chat to your practitioner if you’re unsure)

Over time, these small additions can begin to restore balance and create more resilience in your gut.

Step Four: Make Meals Feel Safe Again

This step is all about emotional safety.

When eating has become scary, it helps to create a mealtime environment that signals you’re okay now. That this meal isn’t a threat. That this moment is different.

Try:

• Eating with someone who understands (even virtually)

• Using the same bowl or mug that feels comforting

• Keeping a journal to note what felt good, without overanalysing

You’re allowed to go slow. You’re allowed to have setbacks. You’re allowed to start over as many times as you need.

Because healing isn’t linear, and neither is your relationship with food.

How to Navigate Eating in Public or with Others

It’s one thing to manage food at home, where you have control over ingredients, timing, and rituals. It’s another thing entirely to navigate a friend’s birthday dinner, a work lunch, or a date where the menu is full of things your gut doesn’t love.

These situations can bring up anxiety, self-consciousness, and even grief. But they don’t have to mean isolation. With a bit of planning and a lot of self-compassion, it is possible to show up for these moments in ways that feel more supported.

Tip 1: Communicate Your Needs (Without Overexplaining)

You don’t owe anyone a long explanation. A simple, “I have a digestive condition, so I’m sticking to foods that feel safe right now,” is often more than enough.

And remember: people’s curiosity doesn’t mean you have to educate them. You can redirect, change the subject, or smile and move on. Your plate is not a group discussion.

Tip 2: Scan the Menu Ahead of Time

Before going out to eat, look up the menu online. See if there’s something that feels manageable, like a grilled protein, soft rice, or steamed veg. If nothing looks safe, call ahead and ask if the kitchen can accommodate a plain or modified dish. Restaurants are often more flexible than we assume.

If you’re too anxious to ask, you can also eat a small, safe meal beforehand and just order a tea or light bite to stay part of the moment.

Tip 3: Create Your “Safe Food Toolkit”

Think of this like your UC emergency pack. A few ideas:

• A meal or snack you know sits well with you

• Herbal tea bags or electrolytes for on-the-go comfort

• Gentle snacks (like rice cakes, soft fruit, or protein bars)

Having these tools on hand doesn’t mean you’re expecting a disaster. It means you’re showing up prepared and empowering yourself with options.

When to Ask for Help

If eating has started to feel like a minefield, if you’re constantly anxious, avoiding meals, or stuck in a loop of restriction and fear, it might be time to reach out for support.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Who Can Help?

• A dietitian who understands UC Not someone who’ll hand you a restrictive plan, but someone who can help you find what actually nourishes your gut.

• A therapist familiar with chronic illness Especially if food fear is starting to affect your mental health or social life. Look for someone who works with anxiety or somatic healing.

• Your medical team If your symptoms are escalating or you’re struggling to maintain weight, hydration, or energy, check in with your doctor.

Getting help isn’t a setback. It’s a step forward toward safety, trust, and freedom around food.

Conclusion: Food Fear Isn’t the End of the Story

If you’ve been scared to eat, if food has become something you dread instead of something you enjoy, I want you to know this:

You’re not failing. And you’re definitely not alone.

Ulcerative Colitis can hijack your relationship with food in ways that are deeply physical and deeply emotional. But that doesn’t mean you’ll feel this way forever. With time, support, and small, consistent acts of care, it is possible to feel safer at the table again.

This healing doesn’t have to be dramatic. It might look like one soft, nourishing meal that didn’t cause a flare. One moment of calm before you eat. One less rule. One more reminder that your body is trying its best.

If you're looking for more support, check out my book Well Now: Reclaim Your Life from Ulcerative Colitis for a deeper dive into healing across the gut, the mind, and everything in between.

You deserve to eat without fear. You deserve to feel safe. And you deserve to trust your body again, one bite, one breath, one day at a time.

FAQs

Q: Is it normal to feel scared to eat when you have UC? A: Yes. Many people with Ulcerative Colitis develop food fear after repeated experiences of meals triggering pain, urgency, or flares. That fear is a valid survival response, but it can be gently unlearned over time.

Q: How do I know if I’ve crossed into disordered eating? A: Protective eating becomes a concern when it starts to take over your life, like if you’re skipping meals, avoiding all social events with food, or feeling extreme guilt or anxiety around eating. If that sounds familiar, it’s worth speaking to a dietitian or therapist who understands chronic illness.

Q: Are there any completely “safe” foods for people with UC? A: There’s no universal list that works for everyone, but many people tolerate soft, low-fibre foods during a flare, like plain rice, mashed potatoes, bone broth, or cooked carrots. What’s safe is individual and often changes depending on your current state of health.

Q: What if my safe foods are really limited right now? A: That’s okay. Start where you are. Nourishment doesn’t have to be perfect to be supportive. As your gut begins to heal, your capacity to try new foods often grows, too. Go slow, and celebrate small wins.

Q: Is it worth trying a diet like SCD or low-FODMAP? A: Therapeutic diets can be useful tools, but they’re not magic solutions, and they’re best done with support. It’s important that any dietary approach is sustainable, not overly restrictive, and tailored to you. 

Q: What helps when I feel overwhelmed eating in social situations? A: Prep helps, like checking menus in advance, bringing safe snacks, or eating a small meal before going out. You can also practise short, simple explanations that let you set boundaries without feeling like you need to overshare.